national day and things that make me sad.

by chloepeh

most of the time, it’s people.
sometimes school work.

i feel sad when i procrastinate and end up not completing my schoolwork on time.
i learnt to prioritize it -definitely learnt,the hard way. not born with it-.
but i still get distracted.
i’ve started playing fb maple for goodness’ sake!
blame facebook and its accessibility.
if i were to list out all the thing that distract me, it’s gonna be too long.
back to when i don’t do my work,
it’s not a great feeling.
i can’t fully enjoy, everything else would always be considered a distraction than a hobby.
i’m not a goody two shoes at all..
i just wanna clear the troublesome stuff, so i can relax wholeheartedly!

i feel sad when i cannot connect with people.
when you are sharing something that’s close to your heart, or something you are excited about,
people tend to let it fall to the ground.
the closer those people are, the worser it feels. whether they can help it or not.
feels like loneliness.

i feel sad when i’m being destructive.
when i get out of control..
and i hurt the people i care about, with things i did or did not do.
it could be negligence, inability to understand, harsh words, insincere body language, etc.
i can excuse myself by saying i’m growing, but fact is those imperfections of mine are gonna hurt people.
it’s a mix of failure and guilt.
might sound misleading-ly noble here, but that’s not my intention. just to make it clear.

okay, enough being emotional.

it’s national day.
but honestly, i got nothing fresh to talk about it.
just miss the secondary times where everyone would huddle together.
singing national day songs that are so nostalgic it’s difficult to put into words.
it’s been a very very long time since i said the pledge, sang the national anthem or even just wearing a uniform.
(sure this is the case is for most poly students!)
miss those days.. but not enough for me to wanna relive it. haha.

most probably doing something totally non patriotic (like fb maple) on national day.
unless anyone has extra ndp tix to spare. hehe.

oh look, google is also celebrating sg’s national day! 

1:57 am