feeling angry these days

by chloepeh

i don’t know where i got these feelings from.
but i’ve been feeling indignant.

honestly, i’ve been worried about my previous blog post.
i was afraid i was too bitchy,
afraid it’s offensive,
afraid it doesn’t fit with my blog.
but somewhere along those lines,
i feel angry!
why do i have to be so concerned?
why do i have to hide my bitchiness?
come on, everyone’s bitchy.
some choose to be open, while other are just better at hiding it.

it felt like i don’t have much choice to express myself,
and obligated to maintain a certain image that’s been portrayed.

also, school’s a pain.
since i’m not doing well, it’s messing with my confidence.
when you’re not doing well at something for too long,
any potential you might have, just feels buried 600 feet under.
it’s easy to tell someone that academics does not define who you are,
like how steve jobs was a drop out,
be philosophical and encouraging and all.
but it’s not easy trying to encourage yourself with it.
so angry how my lousy academic performance makes me feel like shit!
i’m still a person with some value, come on!

5:30 am