by chloepeh

by my personality, certainty is definitely not second nature to me.
i have a strong need for sense of security, which ironically requires a lot more for me to feel secure.
it doesn’t help that i try to protect myself by anticipating the possibilities and challenging the status quo,
just to test how secure this particular reality can be.
okay it’s a bit complex, and form of irony at its finest.

and..i’m not usually comfortable sharing my private life,
all the gory details in its glory, especially in the department of romance.

so much for the long intro, my point is, i feel like i found someone special.
and i’ve been feeling rather confident about how special this person is.
which, isn’t hard to tell by now, that it is a great deal for me.

funny thing is, this is not a declaration that i am off the market;
i’m technically am still single. to my knowledge, we are currently not boyfriend girlfriend.
and distanced by 6 months of 13 hours time difference.

i guess my point is, meeting him, serves as the clearest reflection thus far, of what i really desire.
so if there’s any comfort in this ‘fault in our stars’ encounter, this would be the takeaway..
(distance sucks, i am allowed to use this John Green reference)

so yeah, distance sucks, it’s totally messing up our chances with each other.
this is so silly, but i constantly find myself longing to be on my own
so i can be left alone with my thoughts and memories.

back to certainty. on how certain i feel,
let’s just look at this. i am actually writing online, publicly about him.

signing off~ till then.