‘This too shall pass’ 

by chloepeh

Moments are so fleeting. Or in an indie translation: ‘This too shall pass’. 

I’m not sure if i’m pro or anti towards the fleetingness of life. I swear, ‘This too shall pass’ is mainly meant for moments when life throws lemons and you know that it will stop sooner or later. Because on a double standard, when life is all rosy, you’ll want to just hoard the roses. During a moment when you wish time stands still, the sobering reminder ‘This too shall pass’, will be the last thing on your mind. Realistically, life only works this way, the theory that everything will come and pass, and roses wilt inevitably. Just as horrible events eventually pass, same goes for beautiful moments which fade away as if they never happened. I guess the only place that moments can live forever, is in your heart where they may be etched. 

Hence everytime I come back to this writing space, I wish I had put in more dedication inscribing my emotions and thoughts. Or anywhere in fact. e.g my futile attempts to write consistently on paper. 

My memory is really bad. For times that I know for a fact that my boyfriend tends to go out of his way to make me smile, I just find it hard to think of specific examples. My mind simply analyzes, summarizes and allocates. Then, that memory becomes a flat nugget of information/biodata. It’s hard for me to recreate an experience in my mind for reminscing because Error 404: Details not found. 

And I really dislike how my own brain is being annoying and trimming off the pretty details. Hence by jotting down, at least more memory might be preserved. A picture is worth a thousand words. But doing it the other way round, by using a thousand words to paint a picture is not as easy breezy. Please don’t be mistaken, I’m no full time poet and am a regular metropolitan human aka selfie/instaworthy food/scenery/cute animals hoarder. Which means sieving through thousands of photos is not easy either. 

Maybe my future self will discover the art of exponential memory (be it physically, or biologically or electronically) which will mean mocking the current me for being so noob. This post might as well be named as ‘Chloe and her Messy Brain’ or ‘How to be Disorganized in Life’. 

As much as I try, this general feeling of life slipping past causes me insecurities and anxiety. I feel that I need to adjust my gearing in perspective before I miss out on anymore. Which beg these questions: Am I leading life looking at the rear view mirror? How much time should one spend documenting their life and actually living it? Should I start taking up memory classes?